How to Ask Your Partner About Starting Couples Therapy
Relationships take effort, patience, and communication. Even the healthiest couples encounter challenges, and seeking help through couples therapy can be a positive step toward strengthening your bond. However, bringing up the idea of therapy with your partner can feel daunting. You may worry about how they’ll react or whether they’ll see it as a sign that something is wrong.
At Compassionate Talk Therapy, we believe that couples therapy is not just for relationships in crisis—it’s a valuable tool for improving communication, understanding, and connection. If you’re considering therapy and want to approach your partner about it, here are some thoughtful ways to bring up the conversation.
1. Choose the Right Time and Place
Bringing up therapy in the middle of an argument or when emotions are high may lead to defensiveness. Instead, choose a moment when you both feel calm and connected. A relaxed environment—perhaps during a walk or over a quiet dinner—can make the conversation more productive.
2. Frame It as a Positive Step
Avoid making therapy sound like a punishment or a last resort. Instead, emphasize that therapy is an opportunity to strengthen your relationship, improve communication, and deepen your connection. You might say:
“I love you, and I want us to have the best relationship possible. I think working with a therapist could help us understand each other even better.”
3. Express Your Feelings and Needs
Use “I” statements to communicate why you feel therapy would be beneficial. Instead of saying, “You never listen to me,” try:
“I sometimes feel like we struggle to understand each other, and I think therapy could help us communicate more effectively.”
This approach prevents blame and keeps the conversation open and constructive.
4. Address Their Concerns with Empathy
Your partner may have reservations, such as fear of being judged or feeling like therapy means the relationship is failing. Acknowledge their concerns and reassure them that therapy is about growth, not blame. You could say:
“I understand that therapy might feel intimidating, but it’s really just a safe space for us to grow together.”
5. Offer to Find a Therapist Together
If your partner is hesitant, suggest that you research therapists as a team. This gives them a sense of control and ensures you find someone both of you feel comfortable with. We provide a welcoming and supportive space for couples to explore their relationship dynamics together.
6. Be Patient
If your partner isn’t immediately on board, don’t pressure them. Give them time to process the idea and revisit the conversation later. Keep reinforcing that therapy is a way to invest in your relationship, not a sign of failure.
7. Take the First Step
If your partner agrees, schedule an initial consultation together. If they’re still unsure, you can consider attending individual therapy to gain tools for fostering healthy communication in your relationship.
Asking your partner about couples therapy is a courageous step toward creating a stronger, healthier relationship. By approaching the conversation with love, understanding, and patience, you can open the door to deeper connection and growth.
If your partner asks you to join therapy, see it as a sign of their genuine desire to strengthen your connection. It’s natural to feel defensive, but remember—they wouldn’t ask if they didn’t truly care.
If you’re ready to explore couples therapy, we are here to help. Contact us today to learn more about our services and how we can support your relationship journey.